


Assumptions

by bookskitten



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Identity Reveal, ass puns, because of an ass pun, the title itself is a pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7203353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookskitten/pseuds/bookskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a press conference, Chat lets it slip he doesn't wear underwear. For the better part of the next week Ladybug tries to figure out if he was joking or not (by unceremoniously staring at his derriere).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what's this.

Press conferences weren’t really a thing when it came to Ladybug and Chat Noir. More often than not they only had time for some quick questions and pictures before their transformation wore out. Ladybug didn’t consider herself the best with the press if she had to be honest, Chat seemed much more skilled when it came to handling them in a surprisingly professional manner. It surprised her, but she never asked him about it, because it would lead to some detail about their personal life and she was better off not knowing. The less they knew the better.

The press conference took place in a hall in the TVi studio and Ladybug had to admit she was kind of glad she was here for something else than battling an Akuma for once. There were a table and two chairs set in front. She was surprised about the huge crowd of reporters that gathered. As she sat down next to Chat, she noticed Alya in the first row, phone out and ready for action. She suppressed a smile at her best friend determination.

Marinette made a mental check of the list of things she had to say. Reassure the citizens she and Chat got everything under control, remind them to have the Akuma alert installed on their phones, encourage ex Akuma victims to join the forums to talk or go to the help groups. With a deep breath, she spoke.

“Bonjour everybody!” she straightened her back.” If we are all settled I guess it will be good to start.” she was surprised when better than half the reporters in the room raised their hands.

“Uh, oui, you.” Chat said pointing to a woman in the second row.

“Barbara Allard, _Le Parisian_. Ladybug, what’s your ideal morning like?”

The superheroine blinked.

“ Um, désolé, but you know our policy about personal interviews.” she declared.

A wave of protests from the reporters didn’t make her change her decision. That was Chat’s merit.

“Aw, come on my lady, they won’t ask us our names or addresses. Just general questions.”

Ladybug sighed. Between a bunch of desperate reporters and her partner’s kitty eyes, she decided to give it a shot.

“My ideal morning implies sleeping in. Superheroes duties are quite tiresome.” she directed her attention towards the woman in the second row.

That’s all the impulse needed for the people to start shouting questions.

“Ladybug, your favorite fragrance?”

“Jasmine, lavender and ylang, ylang.”

“Chat Noir, your favorite TV show?”

“Anime counts right? I’ll go with Naruto.”

“Ladybug, what’s your favorite past time activity?”

“Sketching.”

“Chat Noir, do you prefer boxers or briefs?”

Hold on, what? What kind of journalist asks that? She looked at Chat expecting to see him maybe a little embarrassed, isn’t like the whole of Paris was supposed to know about what kind of underwear he prefers. The little shit was smirking.

“I apawlogise for disappointing you mademoiselle, but I prefer neither if you catch my drift.” he finished with a wink.

Marinette’s eyes instantly moved to his ass. Which she couldn’t see properly cause he was sitting, but that didn’t stop the gears in her head to start working. Was he actually serious? Wait, did the underwear disappear when they transformed? She never felt underwearless, but technically all the clothes vanished and were replaced by the suits. Did he mean he doesn’t wear anything under when it comes to the suit? Or in real life too? 

For a second, a picture appeared in Marinette’s mind. A tall, messy haired blond strutting down the street, his face hidden by a pair of dark sunglasses. And wearing leather. Leather boots, leather shirt, leather jacket and most important of all, leather pants. And Dieu, leather really didn’t leave anything to the imagination, be it a catsuit or normal pants. The room became too hot all of the sudden and Marinette felt a great need to fan herself. She couldn’t fan herself right now, though, it would look so, so wrong on the cameras. The last thing she needed was that tomorrow all the gossip and serious magazines in France to have headlines about how turned on she was by the idea that Chat didn't wear underwear. Which she wasn’t. Honestly.

Wait, was that a hand in front of her. Chat’s hand. Was he fanning her? No, he was snapping his claws in front of her face.

“Uh?” she blinked at him confused.

“You missed the question.” he explained pointing to the crowd.

“Right, sorry I zoomed out. Cna you repeat, please?” she asked with the best straight face she could pull while looking at the crowd. Hell, she didn’t even know who asked.

“The question was, what’s your favorite dessert?”

“Blueberry charlotte.” she answered absently.

\-------------------------------------------

It wasn’t professional to stare at your coworker's ass. Well, Chat wasn’t technically her coworker, he was her partner, who she totally didn’t have wet dreams about in the last week. It was still unprofessional. 

But it was such a nice butt. What was the perfect word to describe it? Callipygous. Yeah, that was it. And she was getting an HD view of it now that Chat was watching over the side of the building. She should have brought popcorn. Why didn’t she bring popcorn?

Chat’s ass seemed pretty muscly. She wondered if it would feel muscly or it was rather on the soft side. This whole situation was so incredibly annoying, for all the starring her 17 years old hormonal brain forced her eyes to do you’d think she’d figure out the dilemma by now. But no, she still wasn’t sure if he wore underwear or not. Maybe he was wearing a thong? No, wait, he wasn’t a stripper. Or who knows, maybe he was a stripper in his free time, she wouldn’t judge. 

Chat’s yowl pierced the night and Ladybug jumped back. What...oh no. Did...did she just grab his ass? Dieu, this isn’t happening.

“I’m so sorry Chat, I swear it was unconscious.” he covered her mouth with her hands and looked at him ready to see anger.”It was just...I wanted to know if you have underwear okay? I'm so sorry.”

“I don’t.”he answered surprisingly calm.”You could say my name is…”he did the finger guns at her”Assdrien Assgreste.”

“What?!” Marinette shrieked so loud they probably hear her in French Polynesia.

“What?” Chat mimicked his eyes wide in surprise and panic at what he just said.

Marinette brain did a short circuit. So she did the first thing that crossed her mind. She pushed him off the roof.


End file.
